Selecting a Reading for your Wedding Ceremony

 

In a personalized wedding ceremony, a reading is something that can create a lovely moment...inspiration, acknowledgement, good wishes, some humor, or sentiment.

The material for a reading may come from such varied sources...from Shakespeare to Springstien.  A reading may be poetry or prose.  It may be the lyrics to the song for your first dance.  It can be from a spiritual source...to acknowledge the faith tradition of your families.  Whatever you select, the words should have meaning to the two of you.

Wedding ceremony readings come in two major categories:

-  words that define love and/or marriage
-  words that convey good wishes or blessings on the couple

Either type of reading can add to the meaning and uniqueness of your ceremony.

Often a couple thinks of including a reading, and they get a cold sweat thinking their only options are boring and obscure chunks of words.  Not so.  Do an internet search and ask your officiant for suggestions. 

As important as the selection of the reading is the selection of the reader.  Your reader should be someone who is comfortable speaking before a group.  The reader needs to have command of the material...having read it and rehearsed it.   You might think of family or friends who are teachers, those who make presentations at work, performers, or community leaders.

It is an honor to be asked to participate in a couple's ceremony, so think of someone you wish to single out with your request they do a reading.  Your reader can be a respected family elder or godparent.  It can be someone you didn't ask to be in the wedding party but whom you want to be involved in a special way. 

Sometimes the reader has a better idea of what to select than the couple does...so solicit their input, but in the end, the couple should like the reading and make the decisions themselves.

Be sure to introduce the reader to the officiant before the ceremony.  The officiant will let the reader know how he or she will be introduced.  There may be an opportunity to do a sound check with the microphone.

A suggestions from an officiant who insists on back-up for everything related to the ceremony:  Have a printed copy of the reading available on the wedding day in case your reader leaves his or her copy at home.  If the reader is using an electronic device for the reading...that's fine, just make sure it's available on paper somewhere handy...you know why!  Dead batteries!

So don't wrinkle your brow when you think of a wedding reading...there is wonderful material out there just for your wedding.

A Heartwarming Frozen Wedding

Deciding to have a themed wedding is a risk...it might be over the top, it might be seen as superflous, or it might just take over all common sense.  When Lisa Marie told me her wedding was going to have a Frozen theme, I admit I had my doubts.  It seemed like it could be appropriate however.  After all, it was winter, the film was full of beautiful things about love...and I did like Olaf.

As I created the ceremony, there was a minimum of Frozen "stuff."  I used the word to describe the dramatic outdoor view from the ceremony space at Nicotra's Ballroom...it was indeed frozen and beautiful.  I incorporated some lyrics from one of the movie's love songs to describe the couple's engagement moment.  But that was about it...just right.  Oh, I did use an Olaf sticker on the envelope containing a copy of their vows that they put in a box that had a bottle of champagne...a box to be opened on their first anniversary. 

The highlight of the ceremony was the duet sung by the bride's cousins.  They sang the song you'd know if you are a fan of Andrea Bocelli..."The Prayer."  It was a goose-bump-producing moment that set the tone for the serious exchange of vows.  This was not an amateur performance...they were pros.

Lisa Marie and Michael made promises to her son as well vows as to each other.  (After the ceremony, her 9 year old nephew came to me and asked for a copy of the promises.  He wanted his mother and step-father to make those promises to him.  Someone was listening!)

Ceremony Tip:
If you are using a theme in the wedding celebration, work with your officiant to get just the right balance between too cutesy and "just right" as you bring in the theme tino your ceremony.  I always like to connect the ceremony script with elements of the wedding...colors, words, the venue, etc.  It makes all that planning come together.  I can even wear something that gives a nod to the theme...like this icy blue silk top.

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Holiday Wedding

 

A wedding during the holidays is a bonus bright moment among the festivities of the season.  Hillary and Vincent combined the colors and spirit of Christmas with their Dec. 26th wedding at Above where the ceremony space is breath-takingly beautiful. 

A major part of their ceremony was the involvement of children...their young sons and a couple other children of friends and family.  Children were a charming part of the procession with the infants entering in a decorated small carriage.  Some adult assistance was required as these children were quite young...but the image of the children making a ceremonial entrance made everyone smile.

The couple's older son held the rings and gave them to their parents when it came time for them to exchange rings. 

Toward the end of the ceremony, Hillary and Vincent did a sand ritual involving both their sons.  The ritual's symbolism was the melding of all four of them into a family as the sand from small vessels was poured into a single larger vessel. 

The son who is about six years old did a fine job...he's of an age when he could easily follow simple directions.  The infant son, held by his mother, had a natural curiosity about what was happening...so he reached for the small vessel of sand that represented him.  It was a chance happening...but it was beautiful.  He held the vessel with her as that sand was poured into a center "family " vessel.  I heard an "Ah!" from the guests.

 

Ceremony tip:  If you are involving children, what they do needs to be age appropriate as was the case in this ceremony.  You also have to be flexible in case the children are fussy or confused and don't want to participate.  Their presence and participation is lovely...especially when they are the children of the bride and groom.

 

So I wish Hillary and Vincent many happy holiday seasons to come...including the celebration of their wedding anniversary every Christmastime.



Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Summer Evening Ceremony

 

JoAnn and Rocco began their wedding celebration with a straightforward ceremony...vows and ring exchange...their love story...and the pronouncement they were husband and wife. 

The procession was managed very well by the staff at the Grand Oaks Country Club on Staten Island.  This newly renovated venue lends itself to a dramatic and beautiful ceremony with it's garden-like setting and charming gazebo.

As I prepared for this ceremony I was thinking it was quite minimal, and I expected that it might just fall flat.  But to my surprise, and I should have realized this, when it's a wedding, even the most simple words that speak the truth with feeling are meaningful.  This couple, their families, and their guests were listening carefully, finding moments of sentiment, and delighting in the intensity of this moment for JoAnn and Rocco.

So the lesson that I have learned over and over...yet again...is that "short and simple" ceremony doesn't mean the ceremony is not worth the time it takes or that the couple doesn't care about their vows or that the guests and family won't take it seriously.

Rocco and JoAnn...you are lovingly married, ceremoniously linked forever, and truly celebrated for all you have pledged to one another.

And who could resist that wonderful golden color just before a summer sunset...!

 

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Great Day for the Irish!

Brian and Lauryn compliment each other...they balance each other...they make each other a better person.  And they both have an Irish background.  So their wedding ceremony had many components that had Celtic roots.  Their reading came from the rich written word from Ireland.  The handfasting ritual, which is probably from Celtic origins, honored their heritages, their hopes, and their vows.  I used the colors from the flowers to symbolize elements of their marriage that meant something to Brian and Lauryn.  The Maid of Honor and the Best Man "tied the knot."

 

In an unusual ceremony gesture, Lauryn moved her engagement ring to her right hand just before she received her wedding ring.  This honors her German heritage...and the ring on her right hand is where it will be for the rest of her life.  (She broke that finger just a few weeks ago...but the swelling was down enough so she could wear the ring as she planned.)

Their wedding location, F.E.A.S.T at Round Hill was a perfect setting for bringing family together from across the US.  A nearby hotel...transportation by bus...and a cozy space for reunion, conversation and partying. 

 

CEREMONY TIP:  Lauryn and Brian had a rehearsal without me the day before the ceremony.  I provided a rehearsal guide...and they executed it perfectly.  All those participating in the ceremony knew where to stand, what do to, how to assist with rings and handfasting...so that the ceremony came together very well on the day.  If you are having a rehearsal without your officiant, ask for a guide so that all the necessary elements are covered.  It really pays off!

 

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Three Time's A Charm

“Three time's a charm,”  said one of the grooms.  That will probably only be said for one couple I have married…Lerrick and Oliver.

I created and officiated at their commitment ceremony, their civil union ceremony, and finally their legal marriage ceremony.  Fortunately, no other couple I work with will have to have three ceremonies.  Marriage equality is on the near horizon, and one ceremony will make it legal.

Working with Oliver and Lerrick has been a joy in large measure because they wanted meaningful and ritual-filled ceremonies.  And also because they are truly warm and totally charming people.

Lerrick and Oliver asked me to create their commitment ceremony in 2006.  It was a major, large wedding event…rich in ritual and family participation.  We worked together to incorporate three traditional Philippine wedding traditions in that ceremony.  Honored sponsors completed rituals incorporating coins, a cord, and a veil pinned to their shoulders.   The music was stunning, selected by the musician Lerrick.  The setting at Oakside Mansion in Bloomfield, NJ, was beautiful.  Lerrick and Oliver were emotional and serious.  They were surrounded by three generations of loving family.  It was an amazing magical day.

 

 

Two years later, NJ made civil unions legal, so Lerrick and Oliver had their second ceremony back at Oakside Mansion.  This time is was the two of them and two witnesses.  They said the same vows again…holding their wedding rings over their hearts.  The ritual for this ceremony was informal.  Everyone present picked sayings out of a bowl…sayings about what makes for a good marriage.  We read them in turn as we stood in a circle.  The civil union license was signed, and they were officially in a legally recognized relationship.  But it was not marriage.

 

 

With the legalization of same sex marriage in NJ,  Lerrick and Oliver once again stood before witnesses and family on March 16, 2014.  They said the same vows a third time as they held their rings over their hearts again.   The ritual for this ceremony was handfasting.  They picked four colors that had meaning for them, and two siblings and two in-laws “tied the knot.”   I said some of the same words for the third time and some words for the first time.    The words I said for the first time were the ones they had wanted to hear all along.  "By the power vested in me by the State Of New Jersey, you are now married - each as husband to the other."  With cheers and applause…and some tears…Lerrick and Oliver now enjoy the full legal rights of a married couple.

For each of their ceremonies, Lerrick and Oliver wore their traditional Philippine ceremonial shirts, barong tagalong, as you can see in the pictures.  They gave me a preserved orchid after their original commitment ceremony day which I kept and wore it at each of their successive ceremonies.  Now I can retire the orchid…their ceremonies are complete.  “Three time's a charm”...indeed.

 

 

 

Right in the Middle of Grand Central Terminal

 

 

 

Pete and Alessandra came from Toronto for a weekend in NYC that included an intimate wedding ceremony...just the two of them...in the middle of Grand Central Terminal.  You might not think they had as private moment with all the hub-bub around them...but it was intensely private.

Their short ceremony included a few words about what they love about each other, how their professional friendship turned to romance and then love, and then they spoke very traditional vows that were quite emotional for both of them.

When they kissed at the end of their ceremony...everyone around them applauded.  This seemed to surprise Alessandra and Pete, because for a few minutes in one of the busiest spots in the world, they were alone...just the two of them...unaware of the crowd that stopped to quietly watch a wonderful moment.

Pete send me a short thank you a few days later...describing their wedding as simply "magical."


Julie Laudicina, Celebant!

Winter Wonderland

 

 

 

Connecting all the pieces of your wedding day makes your statement about your wedding come alive.
Jennifer and Michael selected words for the runner that was positioned down the aisle...the first words that their guests saw.  The words were used again to introduce their vows.

A quote on love and marriage on their wedding program was part of the ceremony too.

The visual image of the blue and ice played into the introduction...the winter wedding the bride wanted.  Words, images, colors, and emotions all came together.

Mike and Jenn presented her daughter with a necklace during the ceremony...a symbolic gesture that their new marriage would also be a new family with the three of them building a life together.
To use a winter word:  Cool!

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Three Sixty Degrees of Celebration

Yelena and Yury...it was on the door to the venue! 

At Tribeca 360, the venue space actually circles around 360 degrees...from ceremony space around to the cocktail hour space to the dining area and then the dancing.  There were views of New York from...well, 360 degrees.

Russian weddings often have the cocktail hour before the ceremony.  It has the effect of creating community and warm feelings to set the tone of the day.  That was certainly the case for Yelena and Yury's wedding.

Yelena and Yuri had their Master of Ceremonies introduce each member of the wedding party for the ceremony procession.  It was lighthearted and fun.  The readings and the vows were in Russian...the language close to the hearts of the bride and groom...and their parents.  Sharing a glass of wine after their vows signalled the beginning of their new marriage.

Ceremony Tip:  Yelena and Yury had time for a ceremony-walk-through on site the day of the wedding.  That's a wonderful idea to calm pre-ceremony jitters for them and members of the wedding party.  The flower girl got the ideas of what she would do...and she was simply the best ever!

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Bis das der Tod uns Scheidet

They met on a train in Germany.  He helped with her luggage, and she began the conversation. When they got to Munich, he changed his plans and got on the train she was taking.  Eighteen months later he proposed and she said "Ja."

Now living in New York City, they planned a small and intimate ceremony in their new apartment.  Before they moved in, they invited their closest friends and their parents to come for their wedding.  With no furniture except a few chairs, there was plenty of room for everyone to mingle, sample the buffet luncheon, and drink champagne.

For the ceremony, I thought it was important for some of the ceremony to be in German.  So their friend read a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, and they spoke their vows in German.  My high school German permitted me to pronounce a few phrases without embarrassing myself.

Because there were a small group of guests, the ancient wedding ritual of ring warming worked beautifully.  Everyone present held their rings and said a silent good wish for Caro and Felix.

Ceremony Tip:  The ceremony area was decorated with many candles.  It created charming an elegant and warm setting...but we had to watch that the bride's gown didn't get too close.  Remember that the staging of a ceremony takes more space than most people think.   It's a good idea to actually place stand-ins for the wedding party in the space and see just how much space is needed.  The usual problem is that the front row of seats are too close to the ceremonial space. For this ceremony, it worked out, but we were mindful during the entire ceremony of the nearby flames.

Julie Laudicina,Celebrant!

Above it All

Nanette and Michael planned a wedding that was appropriate for their situation.  They are not twenty-somethings.  She has a grown daughter.  Their fathers are no longer with them.  Their families included teenage nieces and nephews.  You get the picture.

But they had a beautiful, dramatic, traditional wedding ceremony...her brother escorted her into the ceremonial space.  His sister was his "Best Woman." 

Family members did the readings.  Nanny and Mike carefully chose their vows...quite meaningful words for this public declaration of their commitment.

They shared a glass of wine as newly weds.  And they ritually placed a bottle of wine in a box with a copy of their vows...to be opened on their first anniversary.

All of this was done with the backdrop of the view from Above, the new and stunning wedding space at The Hilton Garden Inn.  It was a gray day, but the room was filled with bright good cheer from family and friends as I declared Mike and Nanny to be husband and wife.

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Unplugged Ceremony

Shanna and Russell had talked about how they wanted their ceremony to sound, but also how it would look.  Shanna recalled weddings that had folks wandering all over taking snapshots, cell phones and  ipads up in the air, people blocking the aisle during the procession...all negative images to her. 

So they asked that I announce at the outset of the ceremony that the bride and groom requested no photos be taken during the ceremony...not even the procession or the kiss.  They wanted their family and friends to "unplug" and be fully present for these important moments.  (Of course, their professional photographers captured the ceremony images from start to finish.)

Everyone honored Russell and Shanna's request.  Their wedding guests all watched and listened attentively to the ceremony.  It felt different and looked different even to me.  Less frenetic, less jumbled up, less moving around, less interference to get the perfect shot. 

I hope Shanna and Russell got positive feedback on this decision.  It was forward thinking and retro at the same time.

So I have no pictures of their ceremony.  But I have great images in my mind's eye of their happiness the moment they were declared husband and wife.

Oh, I did get a picture with them before the ceremony.  I hope this new marriage is picture-perfect!

 

 

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Use "per se" in a Sentence About a Wedding

Here's the sentence:  It was an elegant, sophisticated, urban wedding on a Saturday evening in New York City's renowned restaurant Per Se.

 



 The bride and groom had attended a wedding I did last year on the garden terrace at Rockefeller Center, and they liked it enough to seek me out for their ceremony. 

Lisa and Jichao's ceremony had a theme of stars...linked to star-gazing which is one of their mutual hobbies.  The telling of their love story had several references to the stars as did their reading by Robert Browning.  May the stars always shine brightly for them in the years to come.

 

 

P.S.  The cocktail hour was wonderful...lived up to Per Se's reputation!

Promises to Keep

They have been together for ten years, and they have a three year old daughter...so it was finally time to get married.  Andy and Stacey invited about 25 of their close family and friends to come from the UK to NYC to get married here.  I took this picture as they all posed for a post-ceremony photograph.

Overlooking the East River and the Manhattan skyline during the ceremony, they made their promises...the ones they already made in their hearts.  This time they said their promises out loud and in public...for all to hear.

Like a civil ceremony in the UK, they signed their license during the ceremony.  For anyone coming here for a legal marriage, the NYC City Clerk's Office is at your service.  It takes about 30-60 minutes, depending on how many couples are there on the day you arrive.  Take advantage of the download option for the application...that will save some time.  Also know that there is a 24 hr. waiting period before you can use the license.  So take that into consideration when you make your travel plans.  (...and the City Clerk's Office is not open on weekends or holidays...)

 

Julie Laudicina,Celebrant!

 

Brooklyn Botanic Garden Ceremony

 

Brooklyn Botanic Garden...spring...trees in bloom...yet a bit of a chill in the air...the music comes wafting through the garden...families in place... cameras ready...guests are anticipating the wedding procession.  And here we come from the palm house...wedding party in gray and yellow.

Sara and James' love story, a key part of their wedding ceremony, told of how they met in pharmacy school, studied together...and finally went on a first date that ended with a dozen roses and a box of chocolates...well, it was Valentines Day.  (Good move, James!)  The telling of their love story evoked memories for them and provided the context for their guests as to what this celebration was all about...the love between this bride and groom.

They did a unique thing for their vows.  They wrote about 20 vow-like statements about one sentence long which they took turns reading.  Some of the content was humorous.  Some was appropriately serious.  After the series of statements were read...we all had a picture of what they had promised each other....and we all listened.

As the sun set, I pronounced them husband and wife...and with rejoicing, the couple and their guests headed off to the party...thankfully indoors!


Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!
 

City Hall or At Home?

 

 

Janet and Frank had been together for decades, and they decided to "make it legal" for many practical and emotional reasons.  They planned to keep it simple by going to the Staten Island City Clerk's Office to get married, but a voice in Janet's head said she wanted to do something more personal.  So she called me.

Knowing I was a civil wedding officiant, she asked if I did wedding ceremonies in a couple's home.  I said I certainly did.  I asked about what she and Frank wanted in their ceremony, and then wrote the script that incorporated their ideas and wishes.

They wanted to acknowledge the spiritual side of their lives, so a meditational reading was included.

They wanted their dear friends to be their witnesses and stand with them.  They were right there.

They wanted their love story told.

On the day, I arrived to find a charming home filled with flowers, champagne, and an excited bride and groom.  I conducted the ceremony, and then joined them in a congratulatory toast...with chocolate covered strawberries too.  They planned to continue their celebration with their friends at a nearby upscale restaurant.

By enlisting my professional approach to their ceremony, I know their wedding ceremony was just what they wanted...something personal and focused on them.  It was a delight for me...and it was meaningful for them.


Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!
 

 

Keep It Short and Sweet

 

Their wedding was during Valentine's week...but they did not want their ceremony to mention hearts and flowers stuff.  They didn't want mushy readings.  They didn't want the ceremony to be long.  Just get 'er done!  So it was my honor do declare these two NYPD officers married after they exchanged vows and rings.

Their ceremony had the usual procession...but they did not have a bridal party.  That really is a solution sometimes when you have too many friends, siblings, and cousins.  When you don't want to hurt folks by not asking them.

For the ceremony, you need someone to hold the bride's bouquet during the vows.  Or you can place it on a table. 

You need someone to hold the rings.  They can be in the groom's pocket.  They can be held by one of the parents...or really anyone in the front row.

And you don't need a standard Maid of Honor or Best Man to serve as witnesses.  This couple had their fathers sign the NYC license just before the ceremony.

A short and sweet wedding can be just right.  For Sean and Gabrielle...it was just what they wanted.

Many thanks to the folks at Island Chateau.  They always make my work easier.  And they have a wonderful way with the couple and their guests.

Super Storm Sandy Wedding

Who knew several months ago that a wedding scheduled for October 30 in Central Park would be on the day that Super Storm Sandy leashed her fury on the greater New York City area?  For Shane and Lisa, from Ireland, it was quite an adventure.  For me too!

The story of their wedding is fully described in the blog by their wedding planner, Lisa Rockett, from iplannewyork.com.  I contributed my view of this wedding to Lisa's blog...so you can read my story of this miraculous wedding by clicking on the link above.  Great pictures by Brian Friedman too!

As you can see, the wedding did not occur in Central Park which remained closed.  The windy ceremony took place on the Brooklyn Promenade...perhaps an even better NYC view than Central Park!

Online Pool Lead Them to the Altar

Caroline and Kevin met while playing pool online.  They exchanged emails, played more games, and then started talking by phone.  When they finally met, it was the beginning of the rest of their lives...together.

Their wedding day at Island Chateau was on the weekend right after Super Storm Sandy blew through Staten Island.  Half the seats were empty, but those present were delighted to have something to celebrate. 

Nervous, excited, smiling...this couple could hardly stand it...they were getting married!   They were beyond being "over the moon"!  How fun for me, their wedding officiant!

At the outset of the ceremony,  Caroline lighted a candle in her Mother's memory.  Beside the memory candle was a picture of her mother in her wedding dress.  Lovely touch!

 

This joyful wedding...it couldn't be a better way to heal our storm-bruised spirits!


Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!

Ceremony Lakeside

The air was crisp.  The trees were multi-colored.  The lake was like a mirror.  The grounds were familiar to the bride and groom....it was the groom's family home in northern New Jersey.  It was time for me to officiate at a late afternoon autumn wedding.

 

 



Before the ceremony, the bride and groom signed the keepsake civil marriage certificate, and their mothers signed the NJ marriage license.  Every state is different...in NJ, the couple signs the license when they obtain it...not on the wedding day.

The wedding party processed from the house to the lakeside setting for the ceremony.  Guests from near and far were welcomed, and Peiling and Evan's love story was told.  Their siblings presented the well-chosen readings.  Vows were spoken and rings exchanged.  There was an elegant yet warm tone to the ceremony.  Guests were smiling throughout as I gazed around the audience...I was happy to do a good job for Evan and Peiling!

 

It is always a pleasure to work with The Finishing Touch Events!

 

Julie Laudicina, Celebrant!